In the life of every litigator, there are days where your pleadings go unchallenged, your motions are granted with the compliments of the court on your fiercely cogent reasoning, and opposing counsel meekly avert their eyes when you enter the room.
For every other day, it helps to keep a sense of humor. And that’s where Judge Samuel B. Kent of the Southern District of Texas comes in. His opinions are legendary for their quick-wittedness in the face of legal absurdities. If you are not familiar with Judge Kent’s canon, I recommend starting with his take on a request for change of venue, followed by this one. A cautionary tale on the intersection of tort and maritime law can be found here.